clark debonair.

The title of this post is part homage to my finals present to myself (a headphone amp) and part homage to the arrival of the new quarter tomorrow.

It’s been probably the best Waco weekend I’ve ever had. Among the great activities: dinner at George’s then a night in with friends at my apartment; breakfast at Harold Waite’s Pancake House, catching up on TV, then a beer tasting in the evening; church today followed by a good lunch at Olive Branch. Though I liked my down time in Waco, I do hope to visit my family before Thanksgiving rolls around.

This quarter will be intensely Intellectual Property most of the time. I’ll finish all of the credits needed to complete the Intellectual Property concentration. I’m excited, but I know I will be very busy. Being very busy will make this quarter fly by. Then I’ll go through the most difficult exercise in my entire life. And, finally, I’ll achieve the end goal of becoming an attorney.

I still feel very young, but these very adult milestones are arriving. And, as time goes on, my life becomes more inextricably intertwined with Sara’s. It’s exciting and humbling, as it should be. Sara has been such a great confidant for me, especially when I am under immense stress and pressure. I take comfort that I’ve been the same sort of refuge for her in her trials.

God has been most gracious; for this, I am incredibly grateful.

I never quite experienced this feeling in undergrad. I was over-scheduled and I had many places to be back to back. But, I never had an intellectual marathon anywhere near my “easiest” quarter here.

Nevertheless, an intellectual marathon is upon us. That’s what these nearly two weeks are for us law students. It’s an intellectual fatigue that manifests in all forms of discomfort, malaise and eventually, absentmindedness toward everything except neat factor-tests and chunks of case law and statute. I notice that, during the marathon, I’m more prone to spill things, and my eyes are more squinty. My deplorable posture sinks even further as though the very laws of gravity are changing to my detriment.

Nothing really heals these wounds but time and sleep. And, that won’t come until Friday for most of us–when we’ll want to celebrate as a conscious reward for our minds and sleep as a unconscious reward for our bodies. As life becomes more clearly about measuring humans by the amount and quality of work they do, it seems only to become more convoluted. (“Wait! I thought there was more to it than this!”) I know there is (or think I do), but at this point, I don’t see it. I don’t see anything separating a myopic carpenter from an enlightened student. Each one, in his own time and right, will have to answer to labor. Every man has to earn his keep. And, I’m more convinced that there’s nothing more or less glorious about a scalpel in the hands of a surgeon or a hammer in a roofer’s hands or a book in a student’s.

We all have a debt to pay. And, most of us are doing the best we know to keep up with the terms of our loan on life.

If I weren’t a student of the law (and one with an artist’s conscience at that), I would stream this song in this blog post. [Nevermind, like for most things, there's a YouTube video for this. My artist's conscience is appeased because Google has deals in place with most rightsholders. If they don't, the onus is on the rightsholder to initiate the DMCA takedown process.]

This song (ignore or embrace the “video,” as is your preference), resonates with my finals soul right now. I’ve really been enjoying this song over the past two days, and I just wanted to share it with as many people as possible.

It’s a strange time, as finals always are, and this one is different but the same. For one, I’ve got more motivation on hand than in quarters past (excluding the first two). Another thing is that, leading up to finals, I’ve had lots of quality time with friends, and school has been the primary topic less and less. Finally, I’ve got Sara near and dear to me. She is a constant light at just the right time. But, for all my present effort at feeling like a real person and not a study drone, I feel the mechanism pulling me in.

Just now as I am embracing being more of a person than a student, the siren call of finals entraps me. I just hope that when I snap out of it one week from Friday, I can remember the positive path that I was beginning to forge in my conscious mind. If I don’t, I suppose I can start from scratch. For now, though, I’ll just study and listen to songs (and visit with my shining light, Sara) to keep my heart and soul from atrophy.